Break Time’s Over

Wow. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? When I decided to take a blogging break back in December of 2023 (was it really that long ago?) I honestly didn’t expect it to turn into an 18 month hiatus. Just a few weeks to clear my head, that’s all I intended. But weeks turned into months, and the months started piling up. So, what happened?

Looking back, I did a lot of blogging in 2023. So much so it was starting to become a real chore. And the writing I was doing seemed to be more for the blog than for me.

I was doing these big, long, wordage report posts for Sundays – and it would take me most of the weekend to do them. I’d preface them with some words of wisdom, something writing related usually, which meant research and finding just the right quotes.

Then I’d do a week in review piece, followed by a breakdown of the words I’d written that week and goals for the coming week. This was followed by an editing report, how many pages I’d done and how it was going. Next was a poetry report.

And that’s not all!

I was spending more time crafting, so there’d be a crafting report. It wasn’t really anything to do with writing, more what I was spending time on when I wasn’t writing. And let’s not forget the reading report. I’d touch briefly on what I was reading and whether it was electronic or a tree book. Not reviewing them at all, mind you. Just telling you what I was reading.

And even though I was setting a goal at the end of each section, I was still wrapping up my weekly wordage report with a detailed plan for what I wanted to accomplish during the week ahead. And that was just the one post!

I was also doing a weekly poetry post, researching a new form each week and creating an original example. The spontaneity was gone, poetry was starting to become a real drag. The posts were sucking all the fun out of poetry.

Then there was my fiction Friday posts, where I’d post something creative, usually in the form of a serial installment. I wasn’t sharing something I’d already written, I was writing each installment on a week to week basis. On the one hand, it might have been interesting to a reader to see my thought process in creating a story, but on the other hand, some times I’d be down to the wire when it came to posting a new installment and I’d end up with a piece of crap. Which is why my serials needed serious editing when I was done (which they haven’t received yet).

All this is to say that I think I burned myself out. Writing had become more of a burden than a joy, and I needed to take a step back. Of course I never imagined my step back would be such a lengthy one. So what happened?

To be honest, I’m not sure. But the longer I was away from my writing, the easier it got to stay away. And then my focus shifted as I become more involved with my stitchery. I still thought about writing, and I still fully intended to get back to my writing, but all of a sudden I found myself putting it off because I had all these stitchery obligations. Before I knew it, stitchery had subsumed my writing.

And then a few weeks ago I had an epiphany. I was at a stitching retreat, and as I looked around the stitch room I was in, I realized that for most of these women, stitching was a way of life. They were here because they loved stitching and would rather stitch than do anything else. I enjoyed stitching, but it did not consume me. It didn’t light a fire in me. And then I realized that I had been letting it take over my life and it was time to do something about it.

You would think at that point I’d be able to re-focus on my writing, but that’s not the way things work. While I do want to get back to it, it’s still been a struggle. I thought I’d ease my way into it by starting with my morning pages  . Only I called them daily pages because I seldom do them first thing in the morning. And then they became the sporadic pages because I don’t seem to be able to do them every day. I’m still working on that.

What’s given me new incentive, if you can believe it, is having to replace my car. I love my new car to the point where I paid for a set of vanity plates for it.

I want to be worthy of those plates. And the only way to do that, is to write.