Nothing But Time

Time is a slippery thing: lose hold of it once, and its string might sail out of your hands forever.
― Anthony Doerr

How tragic it is to find that an entire lifetime is wasted in pursuit of distractions while purpose is neglected.
― Sunday Adelaj

Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.
— Harvey Mackay

Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.
― Haruki Murakami

Sometimes I lie awake before getting up in the morning, and I have to try to remember what day it is. Don’t worry, it’s not a sign of dementia or Alzheimer’s. It’s just really easy to lose track of time when all you have is nothing BUT time.

It sounds like a strange thing to be complaining about, doesn’t it? Having too much free time on one’s hands. But sometimes it can be a real problem for me.

And no, I don’t want suggestions of what I could be doing with my time. I know all the things I could be doing, but when the depression gets bad I don’t want to do any of them. At least I’ve learned not to beat myself up over my lack of accomplishment on these days, because that just leads to a downward spiral.

This is where making lists comes in handy. They help keep me focused on keeping busy, which helps stave off the depression. Too bad it doesn’t work for writing though. And I sort of fell behind in my list making the last couple of weeks, so I haven’t really accomplished all that much. Or at least that’s the way it feels.

Fortunately, I bit the bullet and made myself a new list. Now I just have to generate enough get-up-and-go to start working my way through it.

And that, apparently is the key – keeping busy.

Research has shown that free time makes a person feel better, but this feeling levels off after two hours, and begins to decline after five. Less than two hours of free time will stress you out, but more than five will lower your sense of well being.

A study made in 2016 showed that having too much free time can lead to boredom, anxiety, procrastination, and depression. The lack of focus and discipline it engenders can cause you to adopt bad habits.

Experts agree that when faced with large blocks of free time you should deal with it by considering it an opportunity. You can learn a new skill, or take on a new hobby. Scheduling activities to do each day will not only activate you, it will give you a sense of accomplishment.

Just like I said – you need to keep busy or you’ll end up in that downward spiral. Like I am right now. And let me tell you, once you’re on the spiral it’s really hard to get off it again. So use your free time wisely.

What would you do if you had nothing but time?

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

WORDAGE REPORT

THE WEEK IN REVIEW
In describing last week in one word, it would have to either be distracted or disappointing.

Disappointing in that once again I didn’t get any writing done aside from my blog posts. It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t have made time, but the distractions were many and towards the end of the week the black dog of depression sank its teeth into me and ate my ambition.

The distractions were, as I said, many. First up was a doctor’s appointment on Monday that was rather disappointing, especially when you consider how long I had to wait for it. This was one of those doctors who don’t listen and does not take into consideration that everyone is an individual and they may not respond to treatment in the same way as others do. We disagreed (strongly) about my treatment, and I came away feeling very discouraged. But I was also filled with determination to prove him wrong.

Another big distraction were the fires burning all around us. I live in a (no longer) small town on the north shore of Lake Ontario. Though Canada gets its fair share of forest fires, we have never been bothered by them before. This season, however, our air quality was severely impacted.

The first half of the week the mornings especially had a sepia tone to them because of the smoke. People were advised to stay in as much as possible and if they had to go out to wear a mask. School children were kept in at recess. When I went out in the car I had to wash the front and rear windows to get the powder fine ash off of them.

I gotta tell you, the colour of the light outside was kind of cool the first day or so, but then it devolved into creepy rather quickly. The fires in Quebec and northern Ontario weren’t very close to us, but there was still talk about what people should take with them if they needed to be evacuated.

Other distractions included a stitch-in at the library, a walk along the board walk with a couple of former gym buddies (the air was okay that day), taking my father-in-law shopping (twice), and a PA Day on Friday.

Of all the distractions though, I liked the last one best. I always love spending time with the granddaughter. She’s a really great kid. A little mercenary when it comes to helping out, but she’s got a really good heart.

NEW WORDS:
2128+582+344+882=3,936
DOWN 733 – words from last week

No surprise I was down on words. I didn’t have any problem writing my blog posts, I just didn’t have as much to say I guess. This week’s installment of Winter’s Child was 400 words less than the first installment, but the first one contained a 500 word introduction so I actually did better.

I think I only managed to start one day in my office, and my list making fell right off the map. At least I’m still keeping up with my morning pages though. They might be full of gibberish, but I’m doing them. Now, if I could just start writing a little bit more.

I did pull out a book of prompts I was given a few years ago. There are still plenty of prompts left in the book – maybe they can give my creativity a jump start.

Goals For Next Week:
Find a workable routine to generate more words.

EDITING:
0 hours

I am still stubbornly clinging to the hope that one of these days I’ll actually start editing something. Will this be the week? Maybe. I’ll have some extra time to do so.

Goal For Next Week:
Figure out the prophecy; get editing Elemental Spirit.

POETRY:
This time I actually had an idea for the poem to go with my form of the week before I picked out the form. I’m just happy I was able to get them to work together. Just because you get an idea for a poem doesn’t always mean it’s suited to a particular form.

My poetry group has been trying to have a business meeting over the last couple of weeks, last week it was canceled because we’ve finally reached the time of year where we can meet outside but we were still under the air quality warning. I’m pretty sure we’re going to try again this week on Tuesday, and then there’s a poetry reading on Thursday.

Goal For Next Week:
Find another new poetry form to share. Expand on the other poems I started.

CRAFTING:
I started the picture square on my sampler while at the stitch-in at the library, and then I didn’t like the satin stitch I was using on the stem of the flowers I was working on, so I had to pain-stakingly pick it all out again. One step forward, two steps back. *sigh*

I was supposed to get my baker’s rack on Wednesday – the father-in-law hired some movers to move it because he wasn’t having much luck pinning down his neighbor – but the job they had first thing in the morning ran longer than expected, so they didn’t have time.

They gave us a new day/time of Monday morning, so cross your fingers for me. Meanwhile, the father-in-law gave my four pairs of pants to him for him. I’m planning to hold them hostage for the safe delivery of my baker’s rack. :-)

When the granddaughter was here Friday I took her measurements so I could start her dress. And I double checked to make sure she wanted the sequins (she does). I’ve never sewn with sequins before, but from what I’ve seen, garments using the stretchy sequin material are usually pull on. I’m not going to be able to do that with this particular dress, and I have no idea how I’m going to get a zipper into it. Well, I do have an idea, but it’s going to be a pain in the butt.

Goal For Next Week:
Continue with my sampler; go to Fabricland for the netting for the granddaughter’s dress.

WHAT I’M READING:
I haven’t made much progress in One Dark Window, by Rachel Gillig. My interest waned a bit when I discovered the story is continue in a second (and probably a third) volume in the Shepherd King series. But I got distracted when I was writing about heat levels last week with Hot Spell, a paranormal romance anthology, and read that from cover to cover.

On my Kindle I ready Montana SEAL, by Elle James, and I’ve just started Bride Protector SEAL, which is book #2 in the Brotherhood Protector series.

There’s a big difference between a serial type series and a regular series. I usually try and avoid the serial type, unless I can buy all the books in the series at once. Otherwise, you’re left hanging with an incomplete story. The Shepherd King series is the serial type. The Brotherhood Protector series is a proper series, whereby the books are connected by the story thread, but each book can stand alone.

Goal For Next Week:
Maybe spend a little more time reading.

THE WEEK AHEAD:

With any luck (*knock on wood*), my baker’s rack will be delivered on Monday and I can get it all nicely set up in my craft room.

Tuesday I have the Annual General Meeting with the stitchery guild. This includes lunch at the golf course followed by a stash sale.

Then, starting Wednesday, I’ll be house sitting for the daughter while she and her family are in Halifax. Their dog is young enough he still needs to be crated when no one’s home, which means I’ll be feeling majorly guilty every time I have to go out – which shouldn’t be too often. It’s going to be weird though. She only lives a couple of blocks away, so it’s not like I’ll be going away for a week. And it would certainly be easier if I could sleep in my own bed, but even though the dog will be in his crate while I’m asleep, that wouldn’t feel right either.

On the other hand, my house is full of all my stuff, which is distracting. Maybe I’ll get more writing done at the daughter’s. Yeah, and maybe pigs will fly. LOL

I’ll still be able to do my morning pages though, and I can take my hand weights to work out with. Not sure what I’ll do about riding the bike though. I had thought I’d be walking the dog a couple of times a day, but apparently he’s a couch potato and I just need to take him out in the back yard a few times.

My list kind of went out the window, and I’m not sure that this week will be the time to try and get it back on track, but we’ll see.

The daughter doesn’t have network TV, only streaming services, so maybe I’ll be able to get a little more stitchery done. And by stitchery, I mean my sampler of course. I don’t want to be schlepping a bunch of stitchery supplies back and forth between houses.

So next week will be interesting, if nothing else. But I can’t help feeling that the track I’m supposed to be getting back on is slipping further away.