Depressing Thoughts

Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.
― Stephen Fry

That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end.
― Elizabeth Wurtzel

I’ve often said I’m weather driven. The last couple of weeks haven’t always been rainy, but they have been grey and dismal. And too much grey and dismal weather tends to kick my depression into high gear, which makes it hard to get anything done, let alone anything creative.

A couple of days are okay, but more than three in a row and my mood starts to tank. Then my energy goes as the depression hits. Sometimes all you can do is just hunker down, acknowledge you’re not going to have a productive time, and hope that it passes quickly.

But this has been dragging on for a while now, and it’s like slogging through mud to get anything done. Basic things, like getting up in the morning, having a shower, doing something with my day other than sitting in my recliner playing games on the lap top.

This weekend is a little different because it’s the holiday weekend and I’m expecting family for dinner tonight. Not a huge number of guests, but a huge dinner. So I’ve had to suck it up to get things ready – do it whether I feel like it or not. And you know what? I still felt like crap, but the things that needed to get done got done. I just wish this would translate to creative endeavours.

Add to this it’s allergy season. A really bad season for allergies. So I’ve been taking allergy medicine which not only makes me tired, but I have a hard time focusing on the computer screen too. But it’s a catch 22, because if I don’t take the allergy medicine I get wicked headaches as my sinuses fill up.

Are you feeling sorry for me yet? LOL

Nevertheless, I may not have done any writing, but editing was another matter. I finished the read through (with minor edits) on Magickal Mayhem and it is now in the hands of my first reader/editor/word wizard.

I wrote no poetry this week – it seems to be feast or famine with me where poetry is concerned, doesn’t it? Then again, it’s not surprising seeing as the creative black hole I’m in seems to be getting deeper by the day.

I haven’t even been doing a lot of reading. I finished Blackbird House, by Alice Hoffman and it was a really cool concept for an anthology. I managed to track down a used copy of The Green Man, another anthology by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling, but I’ve barely cracked it open.

The Week Ahead . . .

If I hadn’t started my spice series with Turmeric, I would have been right on track doing all of the ingredients for Pumpkin Spice before Thanksgiving. Cloves aren’t always used in it though, so I don’t feel too bad saving it for this week.

Despite my distinct lack of creative mojo, I’m still determined to start writing every day – a one word prompt, a flash prompt,something. Or maybe, at long last, I can pick one of my unfinished projects and . . . finish it.

It’s even more important to get back into the writing habit now – next week I’m going to a writing retreat. It started out as the Spring Thaw when I paid for it at the beginning of 2020, but now it’s Writescape. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it. If nothing else, maybe it will give my creativity a kick start.

I’ll let you know how it goes.